What children need to learn

The LORD is compassionate and gracious…He does not treat us as our sins deserve (Psalm 103).

How do you train a child to be morally upright? 

To start with, you need to place boundaries.  Children have to know the limits of their freedom, and that there are negative consequences for crossing the line.  Letting children run wild leads to bullying, stealing, and other kinds of antisocial behavior.  Youth need the kind of guidance that insists they treat others with respect.

You also have to set expectations.  Coddling children encourages laziness and an attitude of entitlement.  Kids need adults to point them in the right direction, encourage their continued efforts, and praise them for their achievements.  Self-esteem is built by reaching goals, and maturity comes with learning what kinds of things are worth working for.

But by themselves, boundaries and expectations are not enough.  You also have to set a good personal example.  You have to be honest when you speak, generous with your time, and patient with failure if you want your children to behave the same way.  You don’t encourage honesty by telling lies; you don’t nurture kindness by blowing your stack; you don’t implant respect for others by laughing at mean-spirited jokes.  Setting a bad example is all too easy, and it can undermine everything else that you’re trying to do.

Boundaries, expectations, personal example—these principles of child rearing are practiced by the God who made us.  He set boundaries for our behavior, laws like the Ten Commandments.  He gave us expectations to urge our personal growth, principles like the Golden Rule.  And He set a personal example—He sent His Son to live among us, a perfect man to inspire us. 

Sadly, our flaws and weaknesses make us anger God with our repeated failures.  But He does not treat us as our sins deserve; through Jesus He offers complete forgiveness and safe haven in His loving arms.  Forgiveness is the greatest gift that love can offer; it leads to reconciliation and a fresh start on life together.  No adult can raise a child of good character without sharing the critically important lesson of Christ’s forgiveness.