Emotions of pain -- anger

"In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-27).

Alexander the Great was one of the few men in history who seemed to deserve his descriptive title. He was energetic, versatile and intelligent. But although hatred was not usually part of his character, his life was permanently scarred by the times when his anger got out of control.

Case in point: one of Alexander’s generals was also a dear friend of many years. One day, this general became intoxicated and began ridiculing the emperor in front of his men. Blinded by anger and quick as lightning, Alexander snatched a spear from a nearby soldier and hurled it at his friend. Although he only intended to scare the drunken general, his aim was true and the spear took the life of his childhood friend.

Anger was replaced by deep remorse; overcome with guilt, Alexander tried to take his own life with the same spear, but was restrained by his men. For days he lay in bed, calling for his friend and bitterly naming himself a murderer. Alexander the Great conquered many cities and defeated many countries, but he was a miserable failure when it came to controlling himself.

Do you find yourself getting angry a lot? Do little frustrations ruin your day? Are you prone to snapping at others for no good reason? Do you spend a lot of time complaining about how bad things are? Are you jealous of what other people have?

Anger can arise from many sources. Some people are inconsiderate of your feelings; they don’t ask your opinion before making a decision that affects you, they thoughtlessly speak words that are offensive, they do the same annoying things over and over again, even though you’ve asked them to stop. There are times when you just cannot figure out how to solve a problem; and as frustrating as this is, the stress is made even worse because a deadline is fast approaching, or your delay is holding up everyone else. Other times, you are making progress on an important project and then something goes wrong and you lose all your momentum, or someone interrupts you and you lose your train of thought. Anger can even come from reading or watching the news. It can be aggravating to read stories of government incompetence and waste. It can be infuriating to see a criminal escape justice on a technicality.

Some people try to pretend that nothing is bothering them; they follow their usual routine, unwilling to let others know what’s going on inside of them. In fact, they might not even admit to themselves that they are angry; they avoid dealing with their hostility by keeping busy. But this is not a healthy way to manage anger. You can’t make problems go away by ignoring them; choosing this path only guarantees continued aggravation, which can result in stress-related health problems and suck all the enjoyment out of life.

Others acknowledge their anger, but try to keep it bottled up; they tromp through the day red-faced and irritable. They know that their anger can get them into trouble and feel badly when it does, so they do their best to keep their mouths shut when things irritate them. But this too is not a healthy way to manage hostility; sooner or later, something happens that pushes them over the edge and they lose control. It’s like watching a volcano erupting, spewing out dramatic emotion in every direction. But pity the individuals who unwittingly trigger the outburst or get caught in the blast.

And there are some who make no effort to control their anger; their days are a never-ending litany of complaints about anything and everything. They have an opinion for every occasion, and it’s usually negative. The people around them are barraged with so much negativity that either they join in becoming negative themselves, or they stop listening to the complainer altogether. Obviously, such behavior is unhealthy—chronic complainers have a hard time seeing anything good in their lives.

It can be dangerous, letting anger overwhelm you. Anger can give you tunnel vision, fixing your attention so intensely on what is making you mad that you lose sight of almost everything else. When you are angry, you don’t see all the options that are open to you; when you are enraged, you lose your patience and are much more likely to make a hasty, foolish decision. Decisions made in anger are almost always bad decisions.

The Pharisees were the celebrities of Jewish society. They had no real power, but they did had much influence among the people. But they were not celebrities because of their looks or wealth; they were influential because they were holy men. Everyone looked to the Pharisees as a shining example of religious training and exemplary conduct. When Jesus came on the scene, many of these Pharisees became blinded by hostility. For some, it was a righteous anger. Jesus publicly forgave sins, something only God had the authority to do; who did Jesus think He was, anyway? He also ignored many of the regulations that the Pharisees had so carefully designed over the past 400 years; as far as they were concerned, Jesus was setting a bad example for Jewish citizens who didn’t know any better. How dare He claim to be a teacher of righteousness, yet at the same time mislead the people? Other Pharisees, however, were angry for less noble reasons. They enjoyed their status as celebrities, getting invited to the best parties, being looked up to for advice. Now Jesus comes along, stealing their thunder—suddenly people are flocking to this upstart from the back country. They too were enraged—enraged by jealousy.

Their anger blinded them—blinded them to the clear evidence of Jesus’ true identity. No one knew God’s Book better than the Pharisees, yet almost to a man, they could not see the obvious—that Jesus was the Savior long promised by God. Jesus fulfilled every criteria set down by generations of prophets—healing the sick, raising the dead, and preaching Good News to the poor. But in their anger, the Pharisees just couldn’t see it—they couldn’t see that the Son of God was right there with them!

The blindness of their rage led them to make a terrible decision—they decided to have Jesus discredited and put to death. They would not even consider the possibility that Jesus was the Anointed One of God. Instead, they arranged His arrest, drummed up false witnesses, and pronounced Him guilty of heresy, of false religious teaching. Then they manipulated the Roman governor into sentencing Jesus to death by crucifixion—a form of execution so painful and humiliating that it was reserved for only the worst of criminals. Because they let anger blind them, the religious leaders of God’s people orchestrated the suffering and death of God’s own Son.

God gets angry too—angry at the sins we commit. But unlike us, God never lets rage take control of Him. Even a casual reading of the Bible reveals how unbelievably patient God is. Peter tells us why God is slow to anger: He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). God is love (1 John 4:16), and He will take any reasonable step to break our fascination with sin and draw us to Him instead. But this should not be interpreted as God being soft on sin; the Lord promises harsh punishment for those who reject His Son: The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will remove from his Kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. And the angels will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:41-42). How angry does God get over sin? Look at Jesus bleeding on the cross, ridiculed by men and rejected by His Father. That’s how much God hates sin. That’s how truly terrible God’s anger is. That is what we had coming for our sins, had not Jesus intervened and taken our place.

Because our God is a just and loving God, He does not act out of anger—He tries to resolve things constructively. Through the Bible, He tells us what behavior angers Him. Through Jesus, He offers to forgive us if we are willing to change our ways. He even sends the Holy Spirit to help us live lives that please Him instead of angering Him. The only time that we are in danger from God is when we ignore what He has to say to us; if we fail to repent and follow Jesus, then God’s wrath will be a terrible thing to experience.

It is unhealthy to deny your angry feelings or try and keep them bottled up; anger must be expressed, but in a positive, God-pleasing way. Instead of grousing about bad government, send letters that are firm but polite, and take every opportunity to vote good people into office. When you’re stumped by a stubborn problem, take a break—go do something completely unrelated to let your mind relax for a bit, or ask someone you trust for advice. Instead of hiding your anger, tell those who have hurt you how you feel and why—give them a chance to apologize and treat you differently. Before you make a decision, find a private place and sort out all your options—writing them on paper can help. If jealousy is making you see red, take a nighttime walk through the neighborhood; with the darkness shielding you from distractions, reflect on all the blessings God has given to you. When the only way to end your stress is to confront someone, mentally rehearse what you are going to say. And reflect on your attitude—if you are looking forward to a confrontation, you’re probably too fired up and should wait a while longer; but if you are dreading the confrontation, your anger may have simmered down enough for you to keep control. Most importantly, turn to the Holy Spirit when your temper starts flaring up. Ask Him to give you calmness, patience and perspective. Remember what the Spirit said through Paul: Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others (Colossians 3:13).

Anger is destructive; ask Jesus to help you in directing it, so that no one is needlessly harmed by your hostility—including you.