Emotions of pain --hopelessness

You have given me hope (Psalm 119:49).

In 1965, naval airman James Stockdale became one of the first American pilots to be shot down during the Vietnamese conflict. He spent seven years as a prisoner of war, during which he was frequently tortured in an attempt to break him and get him to denounce U.S. military involvement. He was chained for days at a time with his hands above his head, so that he could not even swat the mosquitoes biting him. To this day, he cannot bend his left knee and walks with a terrible limp, because his captors broke his leg and never reset it. One of the worst things he endured was being held in isolation separate from other American POWs; he was only allowed to see his guards and interrogators.

How could anyone survive seven years of such treatment? As he reflects on those awful years, Stockdale says that it was his hope that kept him alive. Hope of one day going home, hope each morning that today could be the day of his release. Without hope, he knew that he would die in despair, as others had. This is the power of hope—it provides the will to live.

Do you ever feel as if things are hopeless? Are there times when it seems as if your life is nothing but pain and there will never be an end to it? Is every day a battle with your body, trying to keep it healthy? Does it seem as if you only get harsh words or angry silence from the members of your family?

Are you reluctant to think about the past? Are the good times of days gone by so mixed with pain that you get no joy from leafing through a photo album? Are you so ashamed of the mistakes you made years ago that you avoid the people and places of your younger days? Are your memories dominated by regret over missed opportunities and roads not taken?

Do you feel trapped by your circumstances? Do you believe that romance is something you will never experience because you’re not good looking or witty? Do you believe that you will have to work until you die, because you’ll never be able to save enough to retire? Do you feel as if you just aren’t smart enough to ever find success?

What has brought you to this point of emotional crisis? Have you been diagnosed with a terminal health condition? Have you treated a loved one so badly that he or she has left your life, wanting nothing more to do with you? Are you stuck in a dead-end job with bills piling up and no prospects for getting out of debt or achieving a better standard of living?

If you are like many others, you might imagine that you only have two alternatives—keep on dragging yourself through one endless day after another, or end the pain by ending your life. Judas certainly understood this kind of hopelessness. Judas had fallen as far as any person can. We don’t know what he did for a living before he met Jesus. Nevertheless, Judas must have felt deeply honored to be chosen as one of the Twelve disciples—out of the many who followed Jesus, he was invited to be a member of that small, elite group. He was even entrusted with the job of treasurer; Judas used the groups’ funds to pay for meals, secure lodging, and support charity work.

But as the years passed, being a member of Jesus’ group seems to have lost its luster. Judas began helping himself to the moneybag. When a woman anointed Jesus’ head with expensive perfume, Judas objected to wasting a valuable resource in that way. Judas had lost respect for Jesus and the type of ministry He training the disciples for. Judas became so disaffected that he agreed to betray Jesus to the religious authorities for a pitifully small amount of money. Jesus’ enemies had been looking for a way to seize the Lord when most of His supporters were not around to interfere, and it was Judas who knew where Jesus liked to go for prayer after dark—an olive grove outside the city walls, a perfect place for things to be done without drawing unwanted attention.

But as that dreadful night went on, Judas slowly realized that he had made a mistake—a mistake of monumental proportions. Judas became consumed with guilt over what he had done—so much so that this proud man went back to the Temple and tried to return his bribe in exchange for Jesus’ release. “I have sinned," he said, "for I have betrayed innocent blood.” But Judas could not escape his guilt so easily. "What is that to us?" they replied. "That's your responsibility" (Matthew 27:4).

What a horrifying thing to hear. Of course, the priests were right. Although they spoke with terrible callousness, they were absolutely correct. Judas could not ‘buy off’ his sin by returning the money. Once you commit a sin, you cannot take it back, no matter how desperately you might wish to. Judas had been chosen by Jesus to be one of the Twelve; he had even been given an important responsibility within that group. Now, he had sunk so low as to betray his Master for a small bag of money. At that moment, Judas experienced utter hopelessness, complete despair. So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself (Matthew 27:5). Judas thought that he only had two choices—live with the terrible guilt of what he had done for the rest of his days, or end his emotional pain by ending his life. Overcome by hopelessness, Judas chose the hopeless solution of suicide. And suicide was a hopeless solution, because it only exchanged his despair in life for eternal despair in hell.

But Judas actually had another option; when dealing with hopelessness, there is a third alternative—you can seek outside help. By outside help, I don’t necessarily mean going to your relatives for support—while family members can often be very helpful, you might not have that option. You might not have any living relatives to turn to. The members of your family might be so immersed in their own problems that they have no time, money or emotional energy left for you.

By outside help, I don’t necessarily mean going to a government agency for assistance—while there are many excellent programs that offer a wide variety of supports, they may not be available to you. You might not meet eligibility requirements for one reason or another. You might need long term support, and the programs that could benefit you most have firm time limits attached to them.

No, the outside help I am speaking of is the one place you can go and always be welcomed, loved and cared for. The outside help I am speaking of will never go back on a promise, lock the door on you, or be unavailable while on vacation. I suggest that you seek help from Jesus.

How can Jesus help? Since He is the Son of God, He has the power to change your life. He has quieted storms with a word, fed thousands from the lunch of one young boy, even commanded the dead back to life. As God’s Son, He has divine wisdom—He knows what you need better than you do, and He knows the best time to change things in your life so that you can receive the greatest benefit from His actions. And, as God’s Son, Jesus loves you in a way no mere human being can—He loves you with an everlasting love, a love that was fully expressed on the cross when our Savior suffered and died to win you freedom from evil’s control. The love Jesus has for you is a love so intense and committed that you can count on His getting involved in your life.

But your most important need isn’t better health, improved relationships or more money. What you need most of all is hope. When Jesus gives you hope, any other problem pales in significance. When you have hope in Jesus’ power, you can find comfort in knowing that He is able to repair the damage caused by your past mistakes. When you have hope in Jesus’ wisdom, you can have confidence that things will get better eventually. When you have hope in Jesus’ love, you can face each day with inner peace instead of despair.

Jesus wants to give you hope, but you make things difficult if you are not willing to listen. I know full well that when things seem hopeless, it drains you of your energy. When it appears as if nothing can make things better, you lose the will to even try. But hiding from the world is the worst thing you can do. Jesus offers hope—He offers it through the words of Bible, through the Sacraments, through the encouragement of Christian friends. If you feel hopeless, there is no better place to be than in God’s house—worshiping Him, studying His Word, praying to Him.

Judas did not stop to consider the third alternative. He did not have to live in despair the rest of his days. There was no need for him to resort to suicide. He knew exactly where Jesus was. During those long hours of Good Friday, he could have approached that blood-stained cross. He could have fallen on his knees in the shadow of his dying Master and begged forgiveness. Had he done so, Jesus certainly would have forgiven him. Jesus would have replaced his bleak despair with joyous hope.

What hope can Jesus give you? He can assure you that He loves you. He can assure you that He is willing to forgive and forget all the darkness of your past. He can assure you that when He calls you from this life, it is not the end, only a transition to a life free from every pain that has made you miserable. God says, those who hope in me will not be disappointed (Isaiah 49:23). Jesus only asks that you trust Him; in return, He will replace the chill of your despair with the warmth of His hope.