Dare to love

We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters (1 John 3:16).

A mother lets her little girl play outside in the snow without a cap or gloves, wearing an unzipped coat. A father allows his young son to play in the street unsupervised. If we witnessed these things happening, most of us would shake our heads. "How could a parent permit this," we would wonder—"don’t they love their children?"

What does it mean to show love for another person? Certainly love is more than just hugs and smiles; love also involves looking out for the welfare of others. This can include taking care of them when they are sick, sharing with them when they’re poor, listening to them when they’re troubled. But love has another dimension as well—love protects by establishing boundaries.

Loving parents don’t let their children play in traffic or go out into the cold unprotected—when someone we love is about to do something foolish, we step in to protect them. This applies to teens and adults as well as children. If we really care about someone’s welfare, it is unloving to just keep quiet and allow them to foolishly hurt themselves. Consider some examples:

Is it loving to allow your children to disobey you, when this encourages disrespect for all in authority, including teachers and officers of the law? Is it loving to pretend that you don’t know about an affair, when every day that passes only worsens the inevitable payoff of pain and distrust? Is it loving to let a youth quit the team after only a couple of practices, when giving up too quickly can become a crippling, life-long habit? Is it loving to keep silent as a friend contemplates getting an abortion, when such decisions result in a lifetime of sorrow and regret? Is it loving to let your children stay in bed instead of insisting that they come with you to church, when ignorance of Jesus will result in heaven’s gates being forever closed to them?

Many people are afraid of confrontation. Some believe that they have no right to poke their nose in another’s business. Some fear loss of friendship if they speak a word of warning. But true love is not afraid of pain—not if that momentary pain of confrontation spares someone from a far greater pain to come. To love is to be courageous, willing to suffer discomfort in order to steer your loved ones onto a better path. Do you have such courage? Do you dare to really love?