The importance of forgiveness

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18)

Forgiveness is essential for every relationship that you have. Without forgiveness, relationships seize up and stall. Without forgiveness, love gets buried under guilt and resentment. Without forgiveness, you live life alone.

Forgiveness is a lubricant. Think of your family in terms of an engine. Each family member is a piston, working side by side to propel the family forward. But as we work side by side, there is friction. Lubrication is needed—without oil, the engine block will overheat. If the problem of friction is ignored, the motor will eventually seize up and become ruined.

Forgiveness is the lubrication that keeps relationships from overheating. Forgiveness enables us to put up with being rubbed the wrong way and avoid a relationship-ending meltdown. Forgiveness allows ill-considered words to slip away without causing lasting injury; forgiveness helps everyone to keep their cool in times of stress.

Forgiveness is also a bonding agent. Forgiveness pulls people closer together. Back when our cat was still a kitten, she was sitting on me while I was watching television. She reached up to tag at my glasses. I firmly told her no, swatted her, and dumped her on the floor. Immediately, she jumped back up into my lap and looked at me with big eyes that seemed to say, “I’m sorry.” If she had run off and hid, I probably would have stayed angry for awhile; if she had gone and attacked a piece of furniture in anger, another swat would have been the result. But because she came right back for love and acceptance, my anger instantly evaporated.

Forgiveness is the bonding agent that keeps people in relationships. Forgiveness teaches us how to trust when all our selfish instincts say otherwise. Forgiveness brings us closer together because it requires talking heart to heart, when we would rather stick to superficial topics for conversation.

Without forgiveness, ongoing relationships are impossible—with God or with each other. To be alone in life is awful; to be alone forever after you die is unimaginably frightening. Praise God that Jesus has made such isolation avoidable through His wonderful gift of forgiveness.