The true meaning of forgiveness

Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).

Offering forgiveness is hard for us. When we are hurt or disappointed, we want to be repaid for the grief and inconvenience that we’ve suffered. It only seems right. But the Bible says, forgive as the Lord forgave you. Through Christ, all our sins are taken away freely and completely. To forgive as the Lord forgives requires that we let others off the hook with no compensation requested or paid.

This is why forgiveness is so very difficult. To our way of thinking, to forgive is to give up your rights. To forgive seems irresponsible—if there is no penalty to be paid, what’s to keep that person from hurting you again? To forgive might make you feel like a doormat, a perpetual victim who won’t stand up for himself.

We don’t understand the value of forgiveness because we are flawed not just in our relationships but also in our thinking. It takes strength to put aside our thirst for vengeance and offer mercy instead. It takes a loving heart to work through angry feelings and reach out to embrace those who have hurt you. It takes wisdom to understand that no one is faultless and entitled to claim the moral high ground in a dispute.

But forgiveness is not the same as leniency. Far too often we say things like “that’s all right” instead of “I forgive you.” The difference between these statements is huge. Saying “that’s all right” gives the impression that nothing all that bad was done. Saying “that’s all right” is telling a lie to salvage your pride, because you don’t want to admit how badly you were hurt. But when you say “I forgive you”, you are holding the other person accountable for her behavior. When you say “I forgive you”, you are admitting that you were hurt, but you are willing to give up all claims for restitution.

This is the way that our Lord forgives us. Jesus does not excuse our sin; He doesn’t trivialize it or let us duck responsibility for it. Jesus also knows there is no way we can possibly make up for all the bad things that we have done. Because He loves us, the Lord of Life suffered death on the cross on our behalf, and He did so without any expectation of being repaid for what it cost Him. Jesus demonstrates what forgiveness is really all about—forgiveness is the ultimate expression of love.