Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Love vs. lust

God is love (1 John 4:16).

I’m not sure that most Americans know the difference between ‘lust’ and ‘love.’

Lust is about hormones. Lust is the body’s desire for sex. It is triggered by many things. Captivating eyes and a winning smile. Silky hair and the right aftershave or perfume. A fit body and good fashion sense. Confident body language and an air of mystery. These kinds of traits trigger sexual interest and a desire to pair up.

Love is about the spirit. Love is the soul’s desire for a deep and lasting relationship. Love grows over time. Love develops from getting to know another person. Love can blossom between strangers chatting on the Internet. Love can develop between two people who have been friends since childhood. Love can arise between people who work together every day.

Love grows because of communication. Love requires two people who are willing to invest time in the relationship. Love needs partners who respect each other’s feelings and offer support in times of emotional turmoil. Love depends on a willingness to talk about important things like hopes and dreams, morals and faith.

Love is about feelings—the feeling of self-worth because you are valued and needed, the feeling of security because you are not alone. But love is also about making decisions—deciding to help another person even when you are mad at them, deciding to stay with that person even when another potential love interest comes along. Love is about heart and mind working together to forge a life-long relationship of care and trust with another person.

Love might grow out of lust, but many times it doesn’t. Some people never have a deeper relationship than two animals who are in heat. By the same token, people can fall in love and only then develop sexual cravings for each other. In this happy situation, sex is not the basis for the relationship, it is merely icing on the cake.

God is love, and He created us to be in love—not in lust. Lust can be fun, but only love can bring true happiness, happiness that will last a lifetime and beyond.

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