Patience

Be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).

King Saul should have been a happy man. The Israelites had never had a king before; he was privileged by God to be the first. Nor did he have to face this awesome responsibility alone. He had a wonderful son named Jonathan who was a great warrior, a loyal son, and a compassionate friend to others. He had God’s prophet Samuel to give him advice from God’s own lips. And he had David, a handsome young warrior who could compose, sing, and play beautiful music for the king.

But Saul was an impatient man who often charged into action when waiting to see what would happen was the better choice. On one occasion, his army was massed for attack against an enemy force, but the prophet Samuel could not be found to give the Lord’s blessing before battle commenced. Unwilling to wait, Saul offered the sacrifice to God himself—a clear violation of God’s law which only allowed prophets and priests to offer sacrifices. Another time, Saul wanted God’s advice on a coming battle, but when the Lord remained silent, Saul consulted a witch—another clear violation of God’s law. Saul would also fly into fits of rage—and the target of his anger was often David. Saul had been a great general in his day, but David’s victories began to eclipse his. On several occasions Saul got angry and tried to kill David—moments of unrestrained passion which he regretted after he had cooled off. Saul’s life came to an end on the battlefield, when he impulsively chose suicide over capture by enemy forces. Saul’s lack of patience cost him leadership of God’s kingdom and eternity in heaven.

Our world needs more patience and less rage. People get angry at being caught in slow moving traffic. Children throw temper tantrums if they don’t immediately get what they want. Parents beat their children if they are slow to obey or do something wrong. Countries are more inclined to declare war than to wrestle with a diplomatic solution. TV shows are abruptly canceled if they don’t provide big ratings in the first couple of weeks. When marriages hit a rocky patch, many couples are quick to opt for divorce instead of making a commitment to marital counseling.

Where is the patience? How many travelers find something interesting to look at after making a wrong turn? How many shoppers chat up a stranger while stuck in line together? Do diplomats get the same respect as those who serve in the military? How many people choose to talk their problems out, instead of yelling at each other or stalking off and slamming the door? How many people are willing to forgive and start over?

One of the greatest blessings God gives us is His patience. In the Old Testament, God gave His people unambiguous laws to live by; yet no matter how clearly God spelled out His expectations for human behavior, even the most faithful believers still broke the law repeatedly. We see repeated examples of God being patient, threatening His people with punishment for sin, but then giving them a great deal of time to repent and change their ways. Then in the New Testament, we see God’s great patience given flesh in Jesus; instead of giving up on us for being habitual offenders, God placed His own Son on trial and executed Him on the cross for our crimes—all this to give us another opportunity to exchange love of sin for love of God. Peter writes, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

In Ephesians Paul tells us, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Patience is essential for healthy relationships. All of us are sinners; all of us say and do things that are unthinking, inconsiderate and hurtful. Without patience, these kinds of sin lead to broken friendships, runaway children and divorce. We can be grateful that God works hard at trying to teach us patience; He often does this by making us wait before answering our prayers.

Patience does not see other people as obstacles to be overcome. Rather, patience is willing to work with others because it respects all people as children of God who have dignity and worth. A patient Christian does not insist on having his own way at the expense of others. The patient person tries to solve problems peacefully; he will not intimidate others or work around them to get the outcome that he wants.

Rage destroys things that are built through patience. It only takes one moment of rage to end a career by speaking an ethnic slur out loud in front of the wrong people. It only takes one moment of rage to end a marriage by saying something spiteful or striking a loved one in the face. It only takes one moment of rage to end a life by pulling a trigger or stabbing with a knife. When rage is in control, you lose all regard for the rights and feelings of others. Rage is the antithesis of patience.

Jesus is the ultimate example of being patient when provoked. When He began preaching about the kingdom of God coming to earth through Him, His brothers and sisters thought He had lost his mind. His disciples were often thickheaded and sometimes arrogant. Judas stole from the group’s moneybag and plotted to betray Jesus into the hands of people who wanted him dead. The religious leadership condemned Him to death at an illegal hearing on trumped-up charges. Governor Pilate sent Him to the cross, even while acknowledging that Jesus had broken no laws. Jesus was stripped of His clothes, had nails pounded through His hands and feet, and was insulted by strangers as He inched towards death. Yet Jesus never responded in anger, never said hurtful words in retaliation. Instead, He patiently corrected misunderstandings and offered words of forgiveness. It was only because of Jesus’ patience that mankind has been saved from God’s terrible anger at sin.

Patient Christians are willing to endure another person’s sin and offer forgiveness for the sake of peace. Those who are patient offer mercy even to the unrepentant, as Christ did on the cross when He prayed for those who were executing Him: Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). The apostle Peter writes, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). The only way we can avoid conflict is by being patient with each other. Patient love is the basis of all relationships because it covers over a multitude of sins, just as Christ’s patient love has done for us.

The classic example of patience is Job. Job was a man who had it all—he trusted God, was healthy, had a large family and was very well off. But Satan went to God, claiming that Job’s faithfulness was only superficial—take away his blessings and he would turn his back on heaven’s King. God gave Satan permission to test Job, and in short order the man’s life was visited with one calamity after another—rustlers stole his cattle and killed his servants, a windstorm cause the death of all his children, and Job himself became terribly sick—painful sores covered his body. His illness was so disgusting that few would have anything to do with him. Even worse, his best friends accused him of having done something terrible to call down such harsh judgment from God.

Job’s wife took a different view of things—she did not blame Job for their misfortunes, she blamed God. Her advice to her husband was shocking: curse God and die! (Job chapter two) But Job was not so quick to take a defeatist view. He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" He had confidence that with time, things would get better. And they eventually did.

How is Job an example of patience? First of all, he did not let the bad things that were happening to him take away his faith in God. He knew that the Lord had allowed these tragedies to take place, yet he did not blame God for treating him unfairly—he trusted that God had good reasons for what he did, reasons that Job might never find out. Nor was Job quick to give up; even though relief was slow in coming, Job did not abandon hope that God’s love would eventually make things better.

We live in a dark and evil world. Jesus came among us to drive back the darkness with the light of His love. We help drive back the darkness of evil when we are patient as we deal with others.