A mother's love

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from Him anything we ask, because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him. And this is His command: to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us. Those who obey His commands live in Him, and He in them. And this is how we know that He lives in us: we know it by the Spirit He gave us (1 John 3:18-24).

Happy Mothers’ Day! Today we rejoice in the gift of mothers. Today we show honor to a special group of women who have set aside personal pleasures and convenience for the sake of their children. For nine months they traded comfort and mobility for nausea, a restricted diet, back pain and constant poking by needles, culminating in hours of almost unimaginable pain. After the exhausting joy of childbirth, they gave up months of uninterrupted sleep for middle of the night feedings. Nor did the sacrifices stop there. During the school years, these women found themselves juggling their kid’s activities with everything else that needed to get done each week. There were financial strains from providing food, clothing, and medical care, not to mention tuition fees, band instruments, and uniforms. And when the children finally moved off on their own, there were still long nights lying awake with worry—worry over each hardship or setback that grown child was facing, wondering what help an aging parent could offer.

Why? What motivates a mother to sacrifice so much of her life for her children? The answer, of course, is love. But we’re not talking about a mushy, sentimental love. We’re not talking about a love that depends on feelings of warmth and affection. The love of a mother is a devoted love, a love that makes a life-long commitment to another person. This kind of love will change a stinky diaper even at three in the morning. This kind of love will put dinner on the table even while a child is throwing a tantrum. This kind of love will buy a new set of clothes for school even though playing ball in the house broke the TV. A mother’s love cares for her children, even when they are not very likable.

A mother’s devoted love is an expression of the kind of love that God has for us. Much of the time, we aren’t very likable. Our lives are filled with stinky messes that we are responsible for but can’t clean up. We throw temper tantrums when God doesn’t give us everything we want. And what God does give us we misuse and abuse, with the result that we often ruin His wonderful gifts. Yet God loves us anyway. Even though we sin repeatedly, He comes and fixes what we’ve messed up. Even though we yell at Him, He still sees that we are fed. Even though we misuse His gifts, He still makes sure that we have clothing and a place to live. Even though we are often unlikable, God continues to shower us with His love.

All the blessings of motherhood come as a gift from God. This even applies to conception. You sometimes hear about 'unplanned pregnancies' or children coming about as the result of an 'accident'. But from God’s perspective, there is no such thing as an accidental, unplanned, unwanted baby. Listen to the Genesis account of the very first pregnancy in human history: Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man." Eve said something profound—she realized that the only reason she was able to conceive and give birth was because God made it possible. Babies are only conceived by a miracle of God, as He combines the DNA of the mother and father and attaches a soul to this new human being. This means that a woman only becomes a mother if God chooses to bless her in this way. In other words, women only become mothers by God’s gracious action.

How great a blessing is motherhood? When Adam and Eve sinned against God and each other, they made it necessary for God to send a Savior into our world. Now God could have just caused Jesus to appear on earth as a grown man, ready to bear our sins on the cross and offer us forgiveness through the sacrifice of His blood. But instead, our heavenly Father caused a virgin to conceive and bear a son—thus Jesus was both Son of God and Son of Man. The Father wanted His Son to experience human life fully, so that He could be completely sympathetic to what our lives are like from cradle to grave. An essential part of that experience was to grow in the womb, experience the pain of childbirth, be held in a mother’s tender arms, grow up in a family with a Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters who loved and respected both God and each other, participate in all the things necessary for a family to function as a unit, and experience being loved not for what He did but for who He was. This had always been God’s plan for bringing up the children He gives us, and for Jesus to fully experience what it means to be human, He needed such a childhood. God chose the office of motherhood to bring the Savior into our lives.

It is a good thing that motherhood is such a blessing, because it certainly comes at a cost. When Adam and Eve were confronted over their sins, they made matters worse by trying to shift the blame instead of taking responsibility for their actions. As a result, each received a curse from God. In the case of Eve we read: To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children" (Genesis 3:16).

This is the curse of sin—pain. Pain, which if left untreated, eventually results in death. Because of our rebellion against God and His laws, our lives are filled with discomfort, fear, and frustration. Even when the result is something wonderful, struggle through suffering is the price of achievement. Mothers struggle through suffering to bring children into the world; a successful birth makes all the pain worthwhile.

So it is with our salvation. Jesus came into this world for one purpose—to free us from the curse of sin so that we can be joyful members of God’s holy family, both here in life and after our bodies have experienced death. But sin made Jesus sweat to achieve His goal—sweat drops of blood. Sin made Jesus suffer unimaginable agony as His body was crucified by men and His soul was rejected by His Father for being stained with our sins. Jesus literally went through hell because of us to achieve His goal—a rebirth of humankind. Through the suffering and death of God’s Son, the curse of sin was taken from us and brought to an end in Him. When His suffering was over, the Lord rose from the dead, delivering new life for all who accept the invitation to follow Him. The new life produced through His pain is life free from guilt because forgiveness is ours for the asking; this new life is an everlasting life, because when we die our Lord has promised to lift us from our graves just as He rose from His. In this world, no good thing can be achieved without going through pain, and the Savior went through the worst pain of all to give us the greatest gift of all—life eternal in His name.

God wants us to honor our parents; this is so important that an entire Commandment is devoted to the subject: Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you (Deuteronomy 5:16). Did you catch that last part? Let me quote it again: that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. There is a clear implication here: if respect for Mom and Dad goes away, society will be harmed; life in such a country will not go well. If children grow up having no respect for their parents, they will not respect their teachers either. As the years go by, their disrespect will extend to civil authorities, religious authorities, even to a husband or wife who would dare suggest that they might on occasion be wrong. And if respect for Mom and Dad does not exist, how can a child grow up respecting the God who provided life through those parents?

Are there mothers who fail their little ones? Certainly. There are women who abuse their children or neglect them or even abandon them. There are women who are so emotionally cold and distant or preoccupied with themselves that they are absent even though they live in the same house as the rest of their family. But we celebrate Mother’s Day anyway, because no matter what their failings, it was a mother who made your life possible by her willingness to give birth to you—even though all mothers are sinners, God still blessed you and I by their labors. And before you start wagging your finger at your mom, take a close look at yourself—how much unnecessary suffering have you caused her by doing something stupid and getting hurt as a result, causing her to worry or saddling her with another bill from the emergency room? How much needless pain have you inflicted by mouthing off or yelling at her or telling her lies? How much grief are you responsible for because you stole from her or treated her possessions carelessly? How many times have you been so wrapped up in your own little world that you didn’t see the pain behind her eyes or realize how lonely she has been since you started a life outside of her home? The fact is that we are all sinners, and we all need Jesus’ help to forgive and love each other as we should.

So thank God for your mother. Tell your Mom how much she means to you. Back up your words with actions—spend time together talking or walking or doing something that she loves. Offer your hands to do the things she hasn’t the strength to do on her own, offer your feet to run the errands she just doesn’t have the energy for. Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. That’s the way mothers show their love; that’s the way God shows His love to you.