Complaining

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

Some years ago, researchers studied how frequently people complain. The results of this study surprised me. For the average American, 75% of what comes out of his or her mouth is a complaint. The amount of negative comments rises to 90% for those people regarded as grumpy. But astonishingly, even those with the most pleasant of personalities were found to spend fully half of their time complaining!

Complaining is so very easy to do. The weather can provoke any number of complaints: "The sun is awfully hot today." "That darned wind messed up my hair." "We could sure use some rain." Drivers have a whole litany of sour remarks: "Where did that idiot learn to drive?" "It’s going to take forever to get through this construction." "Gas prices went up again?" The workplace gives us endless opportunities to complain: "I can’t believe how much the government takes out of my check!" "No matter how hard I work, I never seem to get caught up." "The boss is just so unfair." And our homes are no haven from negativity: "If I don’t do it, it won’t get done." "All these channels, and nothing on." "Why do we always have the same things for dinner?"

Why do we complain so much? Some people believe that complaining is healthy—a way to blow off steam. But when 75% of what you hear from others is pessimistic, it is going to be exceedingly difficult for you to maintain a positive outlook. Master propagandist Joseph Goebbels once observed, "If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." If you are constantly being told that something is unsatisfactory, eventually you will come to see things pessimistically and join in the chorus of complainers. Complaining does not make you feel better by blowing off steam; rather, it only pulls others down to join you in feeling bitter.

Through the apostle Paul, God offers an alternative to complaining: fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Brooding on your problems does not solve them or make you feel better about them; if you truly want to feel better, our Lord invites you to look to Him to be uplifted.