Are my prayers pleasing to God?

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will (Romans 8:26-27).

Have you ever prayed to God for something, and then wondered, "Should I be praying for this?" Have you sometimes worried that you don’t pray for the right things, that your prayers are too selfish? Paul tells us that "We do not know what we ought to pray for." So today we will consider what it is that we should pray for, and what we should not pray for.

When you ask a Christian why he prays, he’ll tell you "because Jesus commands us to." In Matthew chapter seven, Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." In this way, Jesus tells us that we should pray, and pray with confidence, because our prayers to Jesus are heard and acted upon.

But non-Christians pray as well. For example, Moslems pray to Allah and some in the Orient pray to their deceased ancestors. None of these people pray because of Jesus’ invitation. What motivates them to pray is their need for something that they cannot get for themselves. A plentiful harvest, recovery from terminal illness, rescue from severe weather—these are things no man can achieve by himself. When faced with matters of life and death, people of every type turn to prayer for relief.

The prayers of non-Christians are not heard by God, because one may only approach God through His Son. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). Every human being is born spiritually blind, unable to see God as He truly is—perfect, holy, and loving. There are people everywhere who hope that there is an invisible God who loves and who cares, but unless that invisible God reveals Himself, He can never be found. Thankfully, God has revealed Himself to us—He has revealed Himself through His Son Jesus the Anointed One. Jesus entered our world as a man, but He was at the same time God. Jesus knew His Father perfectly, and He told His disciples all about the invisible God who wants us to bring our needs to Him in prayer.

But Jesus did even more than reveal God to us. Jesus suffered on the cross of Calvary for every evil deed of every human being ever born. Jesus suffered the divine punishment for our evil because He loves us. And because our evilness has been punished in the cross of Christ, we are free of God’s anger. When we pray to God, we do so in Jesus’ name because He has removed God’s anger at us and has instead shown us God’s great love—a love that answers prayer.

But even though we are forgiven by Jesus, the desire to be self-centered, petty, and willful remains within us. And although our prayers are heard by God, sometimes our sinful human nature makes our prayers sound more like the prayers of those who don’t know Christ. For example: we love our luxuries. It is tempting to pray for the money to buy a new sports car, or a fancy house, or the newest video game system. We are also tempted to pray for success in competition—we might want to pray that our team will win the game, or that we can beat out everyone else for the promotion at work. Some of us might consider praying to become popular at work or at school; perhaps we want to ask God to make us more attractive or help us get the newest designer fashions. Others of us might feel that our opinions are too often ignored, so we’d like God to give us more influence or authority over others. And, when we’ve been hurt by someone, it is always tempting to ask God to take vengeance on our behalf.

These kinds of prayers are not pleasing to God. When we pray for luxuries, God may not give us what we want because He knows that we will become so wrapped up in detailing that new car, decorating that fancy house, or playing with the video game that we won’t make time for prayer or Bible study or worship.

When we pray for success in competition, we are actually praying for two things: we want to win, and we want everyone else to lose. Since Jesus told us "love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 19:19), we should never seek to advance at another person’s expense. Jesus would rather have us pray, "may the best man win."

When we ask God for popularity, we must be careful. It is natural for everyone to desire love and respect, but God demands first place in our lives. Many people who become popular soon forget about God and other people, and end up stuck on themselves. It would be better for us to pray, "Lord, let me see Your love through the people in my life."

When we tell our Lord that we want more authority or responsibility, we ought to do so in humility. We are all flawed sinners, and God knows our limitations in a way that we are blind to. God has given each of us roles to play in life—husband or wife, parent or child, teacher or student, boss or employee. Every one of us already has many areas of responsibility and authority. To ask for more than God gives us in His wisdom is to ask to be put in a situation where we can make a real mess of things. Far better for us to pray, "Father, use me for Your work as You see fit."

Finally, the issue of revenge. When we are hurt, it is natural to want to lash out, get even. But we must remember that our sins nailed Jesus to the cross. And instead of lashing out at those who were killing Him, Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). How terrible for us if Jesus had turned away from us in anger over our sins, instead of graciously forgiving every one of them. When we are oppressed by an enemy, our prayer ought to be, "Lord Jesus, forgive me for my anger and forgive my enemy for his sins. Send Your Holy Spirit to open his heart and lead him to true repentance."

Jesus fills our lives with love—love that calls us to leave our sins behind, love that forgives our every wrong, love that gives us renewed life and hope, love that nurtures and strengthens us, love that protects us from evil. When our prayers are in tune with Jesus’ gifts of love, our prayers are pleasing to God.

Jesus’ love calls sinners to hear the Gospel. It is appropriate for us to pray for courage to speak the Gospel to the people that we see every day. It is also appropriate for us to pray to God to send pastors and missionaries out among the people of the world who are spiritually dying. And it is appropriate that we ask the Holy Spirit to move us to be generous with our time and our money in support of the work of the church; in this way we are like Aaron, holding up the hands of Moses the prophet when he became weary (Exodus 17:10-13).

Jesus’ love forgives sinners. It is only through forgiveness that we are reconnected to God and to each other, in spite of our failings. So it is necessary that we regularly pray God to forgive us for being sinners. We should also pray that God would forgive the sins of those who have sinned against us. And we must not forget to ask God to help us to forgive as we have been forgiven, because Jesus told us, "if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).

Jesus’ love grants life and a new hope for living. Our prayers can certainly ask God for food and drink, clothing and shelter, employment and rest, health and peace. But we do not ask these things merely so that we may stay alive; we ask for them so that we can live to serve God and take care of our fellow man. It is important to remember that God provides for us out of His wisdom, not ours. In Second Corinthians chapter 12 Paul writes, "To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Jesus’ love builds us up in the faith and brings us maturity. It is good to pray for God to strengthen both our faith and the faith of other Christians. It is good to pray for wisdom and God’s leadership in our lives, so that the things we think, say and do will show God’s care and love to everyone around us. And it is good to publicly thank God for all His blessings when we pray together.

Finally, Jesus’ love protects us from the lure of evil. We should always be asking Jesus to protect us from the attacks of the devil, the temptations of the world, and our own weak human nature. We should also ask God to shield our fellow Christians from evil, so that we may all arrive safely in heaven when we die.

At this point, you may be wondering how anyone can pray as he ought. We all pray less often than we should, and we all ask for the wrong things sometimes. But Paul offers us reassurance: He says, "the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." When we were baptized, the Holy Spirit entered us and gave us faith in Jesus. But the Spirit also prays for us continually. The Holy Spirit knows what our real needs are, and He continually cries out our needs to God on our behalf, praying the perfect prayer that is impossible for us. So long as we are one with Jesus by faith, the Holy Spirit dwells in us, looking out for our needs.

Pray. Pray often. Pray for many things. Pray for the church, pray for forgiveness, pray for God’s caring hand in your life, pray for His leadership, pray for His protection. Pray for yourself and for everyone you know. And pray with confidence, because the Holy Spirit prays with you.